Fragmented Memories
by Yian-San
Summary: I found a picture of my mother and me one gloomy day. That picture got me thinking...thinking of my past, my mother, my life...and me. Life, a very intriguing subject to think about. It's a wonder why I've never thought that much of mine before.
1. Prolouge

**A/N: **Hello everyone. n.n I know I haven't updated my other story, **Can't Lose You**, in a while, and I sincerely apologize to everyone that's read it thus far. I'm afraid that I've hit a major writer's block on that fic, and I just can't seem to write any more with it. I've just...lost my inspiration, I guess. I'm thinking about re-writing it a bit, as there are some aspects about it that I completely hate now, and it annoys me to no end that they're still on there. -twitches- Well, I've been occupied with ideas and thoughts for future stories that it's made it almost impossible for me to write down anything for **Can't Lose You** anyway. What you see below is one of those ideas.

Oh, and I also believe that **blues-lover **has a fic that is somewhat similar to this? Well, I have no idea when she came up with the idea, so I just want to say that I will not copy/duplicate/re-write any of her ideas into this story. That would be copying and stealing ideas, and I don't want to be someone that does that. x.x

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything related, affiliated, or otherwise having to do with Rockman.EXE. Rockman.EXE is completely owned by CAPCOM. All I own are my own characters and ideas such as this fan-fiction so please don't steal them.

-0-0-0-

**My Life**

By: Yian-San

**Enzan**

I sat, staring aimlessly out of the rain-drenched window of my office. It wasn't often that I had no work to do, but alas, today was one of them. It seemed…rather gloomy today, and not just because of the rain. Okay, so maybe the rain helped the feeling along, but there was just…something. Something in the air that wasn't as it usually was. Blues was away on an errand, and there wasn't much of anyone else that I could talk with. Not that I felt like it either, of course. I suppose most of the time I'm…musing over things. Or working. But like I've said before, there wasn't much work to do today, so now I'm musing. It's either one or the other.

I looked down at the city. It could have been a nice view…had it not been gloomy and wet with the storm. From up here, everything seemed miniscule. Sighing, I turned from the window and back to my barren office. A desk, a comfortable chair, a computer, a PET charger, and a few potted plants were all that was in the room. The rain was pattering persistently at the skylight that took up quite a bit of the ceiling, gray light spilling throughout the room. A dull scene, you might think. Personally, I didn't exactly care.

Out of nothing else to do, I spun slowly around in the office chair. I went past the window…past the desk…and past the window again. Stopping in front of my desk, my eyes trailed down towards the drawers. Maybe there was something in there that could interest me for the time being? It was worth a shot. Blues wouldn't be back for a few hours, so I might as well. I went for the bottom-most drawer for some unexplainable reason, and wrenched it open. Nothing. I was about to shut it when I noticed something in there, in the very back. Pulling the drawer out a bit farther, I reached in for the flat, paper-like object. I flipped it over and found it was a picture. It was a picture of my late mother and me, sitting out in a garden. Dazedly, I shut the drawer again, and stared at the picture. How in the world could it have gotten there…? I could barely remember when I put it there, if at all.

Her silver hair cascaded gently down her shoulders, curling slightly at the ends. I was seated in her lap, a bright, contented smile on my face. I could barely remember when I was able to smile like that. The smile on my mother's face, however, was probably one that no one else could call their own. It was small and gentle, and had a lady-like grace to it. And yet…you could tell in her eyes that she was far more from just that. There was happiness…and delight…and something else. I couldn't quite make out what that something else was, though. I tilted my head, frowning in thought. This…something else seemed to be the strongest emotion that showed, as she gazed at the younger me with her extraordinary smile.

I blinked as I suddenly realized what that something was. It was…_love_. Her love seemed to completely flow through the picture, and the room suddenly felt a bit warmer.

Love… Wow, I hadn't felt that in a long time. I laid the picture down on my desk and propped my head down on my arms. A small smile came upon my face as I thought back to my mother. As young as I was back then, I could already tell that she had been an amazing woman.

A sudden rush of memories came to me then, ones that I thought I had locked up a long time ago. I welcomed their return, glad that they made my current location seem a bit brighter, and glad that my father was out on a business trip so that I had no worry about him suddenly barging in and disrupting the thoughts. I realized abruptly at how long it had been since I had thought of my past…and my mother. I shrugged to no one in particular. I had been forced to grow up rather fast after all, becoming the Vice President to IPC at a young age. For all I know, I'd probably blame the old man.

I thought back to the earliest memory I could think of. I must have been really young, because it was foggy and unclear…

-0-0-0-

**A/N: **Well, that's the prologue. I'm sorry about how short it is, but it is a prologue-ish type thing after all. n.n;; I promise the future chapters will be somewhat longer. Please tell me what you think!


	2. Mother

**A/N:** Hey everyone! I'm terribly sorry for my late update, but school's been getting to me and I couldn't find any time to do so. I was also debating on the length of this chapter, since I wasn't sure where a good place to end this would be. It's still kind of short, but I hope it's okay. I tweaked a few places, and added some things so that it wouldn't seem too short.

I think it was kind of early for to write what I did in here, but I just wanted to point out how little time Enzan got to spend with his mother. This was his earliest memory of his mother and him, after all. (I know it's fictional and my creation...shush. XD) But yeah, this is all he can remember so far. The poor boy... T.T

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Rockman.EXE. It is the sole property of CAPCOM. All I own are my own ideas, characters, and fan-fiction, so please don't steal anything.

-0-0-0-

**Chapter Two**

**Enzan**

I was walking down a grassy path. Someone was holding on to my hand, speaking to me in a soft voice. I looked up to see my mother, who was smiling. Her hair was pulled back loosely and was fastened close to the back of her neck, a brilliant long red jacket adorning her tall figure.

"Enzan…Enzan, look. See that ahead? We're going to be spending the rest of the afternoon there." I bobbed my head, understanding.

"Okay, okaa-san," I spoke in my little voice, grinning. She smiled, her affection showing unmistakably. She paused in her step for a moment and stooped down so that she was about level with me, reaching out a hand to stroke my hair gently. At her touch, I looked up at her, a questioning expression on my face.

"My, Enzan…you're growing up so fast. I feel that it was only yesterday that you were sleeping in a crib, and I was looking down at you," She laughed. I tilted my head up at her, smiling, as I loved to hear her laugh. Its cultured, melodic tone comforted me.

"Okaa-san, you still do look down at me when I sleep. I've seen you. I'm too big for a crib, though," I grinned. "I have a big bed now!" My mother laughed again, nodding.

"That's right, Enzan. You're a big boy now, so you need a big bed…"

We continued walking down the path, and turned a corner. I caught sight of a large playground and bench table. I grinned in delight, tugging on my mother's hand. We headed for the swings first, as that was my favorite thing to do at a playground. When she set me on her lap comfortably, we started to swing. I had always loved the swings for the fact that I felt as though I were flying. The sensation of going up into the air and diving back down thrilled me.

"Higher, okaa-san!" I cried. I heard the delightful sound of her laughing once more.

"Enzan, if we go any higher, we'd reach the sky!"

-0-0-0-

After a while of playing, we continued walking down the park's streets. It was a lovely time of year; the one where brilliant shades of gold and scarlet decorated the treetops, and the air was filled with an inviting smell of wood and the winter to come. I always loved autumn for its simple beauty. I believe I got that from my mother, as she loved autumn as well.

We exited the park, and walked along the sidewalk down the busy streets of Densan. I saw many people's faces light up in awe as they saw my mother, and they waved enthusiastically, most likely amazed at getting to meet the mistress of IPC. My mother returned their greetings with a warm smile and a quaint, "How do you do?"

They replied with a "Fine, thank you!" or something to that extent.

They waved at me as well, to which I returned a somewhat shy smile. I never was really good with other people, being that I haven't actually been in that much contact with them. A cheerful looking woman in a long white coat came over and fawned over me suddenly, scaring me half out of my wits.

"Ah, what an adorable young man we have here!" she exclaimed, looking me over. I edged closer to my mother, feeling uncertain about this stranger. Okaa-san, however, laughed and squatted down while giving me a reassuring squeeze.

"It's alright, Enzan. You can trust her. This is Amamiya-san, the wife of the CEO of one of IPC's fellow companies. She's a good friend of the family, Enzan, so say hello."

I remained silent, hesitantly extending my hand. The woman laughed, taking it and giving it a hearty shake.

"My, my, my, look here! You'd make such a wonderful successor to your father, Enzan-kun," she said, smiling broadly. "Four years old and already acting like a professional businessman!"

"…E-Eheh…"

My mother smiled, exchanging a few words with the woman before we departed. After a bit of a walk, we turned a corner, and entered a nice, homey bakery. My mother ordered a few treats and some cups of hot tea for us both. We sat down at a table closer to the center of the bakery, where pleasant chatter was heard all about, and a roaring fire warmed us from our brisk walk.

Chewing on some pastries, I grinned at my mother. "This was fun, okaa-san. Can we do it again sometime?"

She smiled at me. "For you, Enzan, anything."

-0-0-0-

I remember that it was only a few weeks after we had gone to the park that she came down with a sickness. Day after day, she spent her time in bed, barely having the strength to do much of anything else. I was allowed to see her from time to time, and each time I did I couldn't help but be frightened by what I saw. It was such a sudden change for me. There was no longer a warm, motherly hand around me, helping me with my every need. There was no calm, patient smile. Even though the family's maids tended to me and smiled and did all it took to keep me happy, it lacked that...that feeling that you would only feel with your own mother. I felt strangely alone during that time, which was something I hadn't felt before.

I walked into her room one day. I hadn't been able to see her for at least a week because they were afraid her sickness would spread to me, and my mother was so deathly sick...I guess they were afraid of me seeing her like that. This day, though, her condition was supposedly quite a bit better, and I was allowed to see her now. Approaching her bed slowly, I could see that strands of her silver hair were tousled and slightly matted, her face having taken on the usual paleness of an ill person. I bit down on my lip and willed myself to get closer.

"…Okaa-san…?" I asked slowly, reaching out a hand. She stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes. I watched anxiously as she smiled tiredly and reached out to clasp my hand with her own clammy one. She brought me closer to her, but I hesitated, staying only where I was. Taking a good look at her, I could see that her once healthy complexion was no longer tinged with a faint shade of pink, but was instead drained of color. Her pale exterior made her almost seem…ghostly. I choked on the tears that suddenly came, and buried my face into her covers.

"Okaa-san, you can't die. You—you have to get better!" I cried through my tears, my words muffled by the bed covers. I shook my head as if to emphasize that point, not caring about what I might have looked like right then. "P-please…please don't die!"

A hand came up to stroke my hair. Sniffling, I turned my head up to look at my mother, feeling my heart sink at her sad, desperate expression. I waited for her to say something, anything. Her face contorted into something between pain, pity, and sadness while she spoke.

"Enzan…" she spoke faintly after a while, a tear tracing its way down her cheek. Her pale hand came to caress the side of my face. It scared me to see that hand, to tell the truth. It was all pale, ghost-like. It took all I had in me to not run away from the bed right then and there. But I stood there, stood my ground. I hoped that I would be able to stand what she had to say.

"…Enzan," she repeated again. Her voice was weak and raspy. "I…I want you to be good, okay? Be good to otou-san, to everyone else. T-try not to cause trouble. You are the heir to the company, Enzan, and," she smiled, "I _know_ you'll be wonderful at it. You'll make a fine businessman when you grow up."

I nodded, solemnly swearing to myself that I would remember. I said so to her as well.

Again, she smiled. "…That's my boy. I know you will, Enzan. Keep in mind though…don't become immersed with work. Remember to have fun. Remember to laugh. Don't…" she paused, seeming to search for the right words, "Don't…linger on the past. When something happens that you don't like, you must try to put it behind you and move on. No matter how hard it might be, promise me Enzan, that you will try."

I nodded again, slightly hesitating this time, promising I would. She gave another weak smile, squeezed my hand comfortingly and leaned back on her pillows, seemingly content. I released a breath that I hadn't known I'd been holding and relaxed a bit. Perhaps everything would be all right, I thought to myself. Okaa-san seemed better than she had been a few days ago where she could barely say anything at all. The warm-hearted, cheerful and healthy mother that was once here would come back once more. I was sure of it.

_It was going to be okay…_

-0-0-0-

**A/N: **Gah, cliffhanger. I couldn't help but leave it like that. n.n;; Wow...I feel so terrible for doing this to poor little Enzan, but I imagine it must have gone something like that. I was close to tears writing this...

Please tell me what you think! I hope it wasn't too short... -glances around nervously-


	3. Crisis

**A/N:** Wow. I won't even begin to express how terribly sorry I am. It's been, what, over two years since I last updated this fic? D: It was due to a combination of school, life, writer's block and school again. And a bit of laziness. I apologize, since I know there were some people that were looking forward to an update for this.

I don't know if anyone still cares about this fic, but I realized I had this whole part already typed out. I was originally planning to make it longer, which is why this took so long to update, but I decided it was fine as it is. I'm posting this up anyway, since I already have it done.

I'd like to thank **Symphonic Sweet** for adding this story to her favorites. It was from seeing the little notification e-mail in my inbox that I realized some people actually still read this.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything related to Rockman.EXE. It is the sole property of CAPCOM. All I own are my own ideas, characters, and fan-fiction, so please don't steal anything.

-0-0-0-

**Recap:**

I nodded again, slightly hesitating this time, promising I would. She gave another weak smile, squeezed my hand comfortingly and leaned back on her pillows, seemingly content. I released a breath that I hadn't known I'd been holding and relaxed a bit. Perhaps everything would be all right, I thought to myself. Okaa-san seemed better than she had been a few days ago where she could barely say anything at all. The warm-hearted, cheerful and healthy mother that was once here would come back once more. I was sure of it.

_It was going to be okay…_

-0-0-0-

**Chapter Three**

**Enzan**

That illusion shattered though once I saw my mother begin breathing in a strange, sudden way. Her labored breaths were raspy and came in quick succession to the last. She doubled over and clutched her chest as though she were in terrible pain, strangled cries emitting from her throat. Alarmed, I yelled out:

"Okaa-san! What's wrong?"

There was no answer but sudden, terrible coughing and frantic shaking of her head. Her trembling hand reached clumsily for something on the bedside table, pawing around, but all she managed to do was knock things over the edge, a glass of water spilling its contents all over the fine carpet.

I ran out of her room and began shouting for help.

"Somebody! Please help! Okaa-san needs help now!" I screamed desperately, looking around for any maids or maybe even my father. No one came.

"Please! Something's happening to her!" I tried again, this time hearing hurried footsteps come nearer. A few maids and our family doctor rushed around the corner and into her room. I watched them go in, my tears coming back again as I stood anxiously in the doorframe, watching what was going on. The doctor said something to one of the maids, who in turn came over to me. I was somewhat relieved to see it was a maid I knew well, Kari-san. She was the one that spent the most time with me when my mother was too sick to be with me. She was also the head of the maids in the home.

She draped an arm around my shoulders and led me away, much to my extreme disappointment.

I struggled to wrench out of her grasp, but her grip was firm.

"No! Kari-san, I need to be with her! Okaa-san needs me!" I wailed, turning my head back in the direction of her room.

"I'm sorry, Enzan-kun, but you can't! The doctor is busy, and he mustn't have any distractions!"

"I'm _not_ a distraction!"

Kari sighed, a worried and sorrowful expression on her face. She led me, albeit reluctantly, back to my own room and shut the door quietly. She let loose of me then. Still crying, I sank down beside the bed and pulled my knees close to my chest, hugging them tight with my arms. I bowed my head down and sobbed, hoping to ease my pain. Why couldn't anyone understand? My mother was sick, and something was happening to her, and yet they wouldn't let me be with her! How would I know if she was okay if I didn't even know what the doctor was doing? What if she needed me? I couldn't…I couldn't believe it…

I heard Kari come down next to me and enclose me in her arms, laying her chin on top of my head comfortingly as she muttered some incoherent words. My limp, shaking body fell into her embrace. I couldn't help it. I wanted comfort then, and I knew Kari could provide it. Her soft voice reached my ears next as she tried her best to soothe me.

"Oh dear me. You poor boy," she murmured sympathetically. I could hear the genuine concern in her voice as she held me tighter. "There's no need to cry. Come now, Enzan-kun. Shh. It's going to be okay."

I sniffed, wiping at my eyes.

"B-But…okaa-san…"

"Oh, don't you worry about her. She's in the hands of one of the finest doctors in Densan. You do know that, right? Come now, dear boy. Shh…" She continued consoling me, rocking me gently. I gradually started to calm down, my sobs dying down to a shuddering, hiccupping breath. My eyes, red and puffy from crying, felt tired and heavy-lidded. When I felt my eyes start to close, I panicked and blinked them open. I couldn't fall asleep now. I needed to stay awake, just in case something happened. I needed to stay awake.

_Stay awake…_

_Stay awake…_

I felt my eyes close slowly again, no matter how much I tried to keep them open. I fought against it, but it seemed as though the link between my mind and my eyes was suddenly disconnected. I blinked, shook my head, tried anything to keep myself clear-headed. Nothing seemed to work. I soon slipped into dark oblivion, feeling sweet nothingness numb my mind over as I fell asleep.

_Okaa-san…_

-0-0-0-

_Should we tell him?_

_Oh, but I don't know! He's still so young. Just five years old, my goodness._

_I know! He'll be crushed, that poor darling. _

_Girls, we were hired to work in the Ijuuin household to keep order and to make sure that the master and madam would remain content. The same must apply to the young master as well. Lying to them would be against our code of conduct, would it not? We must not keep information away from them, no matter how dreadful it might be. Especially when it concerns the young master's very own mother!_

_Dear, I suppose you're right. I imagine the young master would have found out sooner or later though. He's such a bright child._

_A murmur of agreement wound its way throughout the small group._

I woke up to the sound of their whispers. Opening my eyes slowly, I had absolutely no recollection of where I was, or how I got there. The curtains were drawn together in this room, so it made it difficult to see anyway. I rubbed at my eyes and looked around, finally realizing that I was in my own room. How I got there was still a mystery to me, though. I felt the soft warmness of my covers, and noticed I was in bed.

Wait. Something happened here before.

I gasped, looking around. Kari-san was nowhere to be seen.

_'Kaa-san!_

As I tumbled out of bed, my covers wound their way inconveniently around my legs and nearly made me fall flat on my face as I tried to get up. I realized that I was still wearing yesterday's clothing, but that didn't exactly matter right then. I found a small group of maids standing right outside the door to my room as I went out, and they gasped in surprise when they saw me. I looked up at them almost expectantly, wanting to see what they had to say. Why else would they have been standing there?

One maid looked around nervously at the others before facing me. She bowed deeply and played with her fingers uneasily.

"Ano, Enzan-bocchama…"

"Yeah?"

She tilted her head and fixed me with such a sympathetic look that the panic that I felt escalated to a whole other level. A look like that couldn't possibly mean any good news.

"Enzan-bocchama…I'm afraid I have some bad news."

I couldn't stand it anymore. Just by her motions and gestures I could already tell it was bad news! But what was it? What were they keeping from me? Was it…was it that _bad_? Was Okaa-san okay? I had so many questions, but yet I didn't know which one to ask first.

"What is it?" I blurted out. I could tell by the maid's facial expression that she was really not looking forward to telling me what it was that she had to say.

"M-Madam Ijuuin. Your okaa-san…" she trailed off.

"What about her? W-What happened?" I was frantic by now, and I could feel a familiar wetness around my eyes and warming of my face as I struggled not to cry.

_Not okaa-san. Not her._

The maid came forward and laid her small hands onto my shoulders. She looked on the brink of tears like I was, and the rest of the maids had crowded together in a tight cluster around me. She looked up at the rest of them as if wanting to receive help. What about, I still had no idea, and being as young as I was, I was becoming very confused.

"Oh dear…she went into cardiac arrest, Enzan-bocchama."

As soon as she said that, she cringed, as though suddenly realizing that someone of my age could not understand what that meant. The fact that I really didn't know scared me even more.

"W-What is that? Is it another disease?"

Another maid cut in. "No dear, no, it's not another disease. It's um…"

The first maid sighed and started to speak slowly as she explained everything to me. "Your okaa-san is actually very weak, dear. So much coughing and her illness were hard on her lungs and heart. Her heart's not strong like yours, Enzan-bocchama."

"What?" I said in surprise. She always seemed like such a healthy person, and this completely amazed me. If okaa-san was really this sick, why didn't she tell me? And how did the maids know? So many questions and thoughts swam through my head again, overwhelming me to the point where I didn't know what to say anymore.

"S-So then, did this 'cardiac arrest' make okaa-san stop breathing?" I asked with wide eyes, suddenly realizing this.

"Yes, for a while. I'm so sorry, dear. So sorry," she repeated, coming forward and bringing me into a tight embrace. A sudden wetness dripped down my back, and I realized that the maid was crying.

"Is she okay? Where is she?"

"She's stabilized now, and she's in a good hospital room in Densan—"

"Hospital? Okaa-san's in a hospital?" I cried loudly. "No!"

The maid smoothed my hair down hurriedly, shaking her head.

"No, no. Don't be worried, dear. It'll be fine. Fine! Please don't be upset, Enzan-bocchama."

I stood stock still on the hardwood floors in the hallways of my home, sobbing freely now. I didn't know why it scared me so much that my mother was in the hospital, but it did. Thousands of people went to the hospital everyday and came out fine, didn't they? Still, the fact that my own mother was gone from the household was frightening. The maids stood around, comforting me as I cried into their shoulders. Some of them were crying along with me. Suddenly, I heard heavy footsteps behind me and then a few gasps.

"Where's Enzan?" came a haggard voice. The footsteps stopped behind me, and the maids immediately got up and bowed deeply.

"Welcome home, Ijuuin-sama," they chorused together. I turned around slowly to see who the mysterious person was, but I already knew whom it had to be.

My father, looking tired and a complete mess, came forward and brought his arms around me. His unshaven face bristled against my cheek and I winced slightly. Smoothing down my hair, he pulled back and smiled half-heartedly at me. Taking a look at him, I could see that his tie seemed to have been loosened in a hurry and his clothes were wrinkled. The bags under his eyes were also a dead giveaway that he had not slept in a while.

"Are you okay, Enzan? Are you hungry? Do you need anything?" he asked, looking me over. I shook my head mutely and kept my eyes on the ground. He took my hand, said a few words to the maids and watched as they bowed and scurried away. He looked back down at me.

"We're going to see your mother, Enzan. I'm sure you know how she's been sick lately."

The next thing I knew, I was being escorted into a sleek limousine to the city hospital.

-0-0-0-

**A/N:** All I ask is that you read, review and enjoy. :D


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